Al Batt: How I looked before the fair – Austin Daily Herald


Echoes of the moccasin club reunion

Lots of people at the county fair told me I looked good.

It must have made you feel good.

I did, but it made me wonder how bad I looked before I got to this.

Drive by Bruce Drive

I have a wonderful neighbor named Bruce. Every time I walk past his reader, thoughts come to my mind. Before the dust settled at the county fair, it rained and the dust settled. I remember driving my old van to the fair. Pleasant memories. I called the Bad Check vehicle because it bounced on gravel roads.

I was enjoying a single scoop of maple nut ice cream at the fair, watching a young woman throw the base of a cone in the trash. She told me she didn’t like ice cream cone buttocks. I love ice cream that contains nuts. Maple nuts, cherry nuts and most of those with pecans. I was enjoying this ice cream cone. On a hot day, ice cream is called cream. I was locking it down when Tim Kaasa from Glenville told me that only the elderly eat maple nut ice cream. I have given a lot of thought to the idea of ​​having a second scoop.

Life is persistent questions and other things

“A dark night in a city that knows how to keep its secrets, but a man is still trying to find the answers to life’s lingering questions: Guy Noir, Private Eye. It was the opening of Garrison Keillor’s private investigator parody on “A Prairie Home Companion.”

I drove on a dark road on a dark night. I encountered a car that didn’t turn off its lights after dimming mine. My wife, who was riding a shotgun, growled, “Why doesn’t he dim his lights? She immediately identified a driver she couldn’t see as a man. It was a hit in the dark.

My mind turned to another road another night, a road I walked with a full bladder. People drive like gasoline costs 20 cents a gallon, but not on this well-lit road. No traffic was moving on I-494 in the Twin Cities. The Book of Revelation – the last book of the New Testament – prophesied the sword, famine, and pestilence, but no traffic jams. So it was not a sign of the end of time, although it seemed to be. At a county fair this year, I spoke with a man wearing a John Prine t-shirt. John Prine is my favorite singer a few days a week. I have a rotating cast of favorites. That day without moving on I-494, me and my full bladder played a John Prine CD.

I listened to “That’s the Way that the World Goes Round” with lyrics about a man stuck in a frozen tub and imagining the worst until the sun thawed him. In the song “Everything is Cool,” this supreme songwriter wrote about Valley of Indifference and “And I find it really surprising to myself to hear myself say that everything is cool. . ” Everything was cool. Everything was fine. Once I got to an exit and a gas station.

I do my own stunts

I told a guy about his dog. I did this because he was a 200 pound bullmastiff, I wasn’t sure I should stop scratching behind my ear. The man has 11 dogs of this breed and one of them weighed 210 pounds. He told me he was spending $ 140 a week to feed the big dogs.

Bad Jokes Department

My wife asked me to pick half a dozen asparagus tips. I picked seven. The extra was a spare, I guess.

What is a wreath made of $ 100 bills called? A Franklin crown.

Conspiracy theories are like the moon landings. They are all wrong.

What kind of tomato smells best? A Rom.

Natural notes

About five weeks after the Canada geese hatch, the adults moult, rendering them unable to fly until the goslings can fly at 9-10 weeks of age, usually in the second half of their life. July.

Red Admiral feeds on tree sap, rotting fruit and bird droppings. Its caterpillar eats nettles. This makes them almost impossible to cook. When I was a little boy, I called the painted lady a “thistle butterfly”. Thistles are host plants for caterpillars.

In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the cricket is singing tonight. In the jungle, the quiet jungle, the cricket is singing tonight. Step outside at dusk and listen to a cricket scream. Count the number of beeps it makes in 15 seconds. Adding 40 to that number will give you the approximate temperature in degrees Fahrenheit.


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